Today, like many days, began with a temper tantrum — a battle of wills, a mule sitting down in the path, and literally, refusing to budge. This was the first of what I knew would be many more to come in this day. My second-born, Lucy, has always, and I know, always will be, strong-willed. She wants to do it her way. She MUST do it her way. You know, as a parent, it’s a fine line we tread with our strong-willed children. It is supremely frustrating to be walking down the sidewalk, with your hands full of the necessary items for the day, when your child decides that she must be held by you, instead of walking by herself, as happened to me this morning.
I’ve read the parenting books that tell me, “Oh, just keep walking. She’ll give up and come along, after you get (a few feet, 10 feet, a little farther) away.” That would’ve worked with my first born. But no, not Lucy. I’d have to leave her by herself for a few minutes for that to work, which, on a public sidewalk, next to a busy road, at 8:30 in the morning, wasn’t going to happen. So, put down all my stuff, go back and get her, pick up all my stuff, plus her, and walk to work.
Sometimes, being the totally, incurably pragmatic (and also really strong-willed) person that I am, I struggle to decide when I need to fight the battles with her and do things the way I hope they should go, or when I need to let go and let her do things her way. She wants to do it, and I know she won’t give up, which is a wonderful trait as an adult, but as a child, it’s more than a little frustrating for all the adults around her. I especially prefer to a rule to always be a rule, and a routine always a routine — it has been really hard for me, as a parent, to realize that things don’t always need to happen the same way, and in fact, that’s a totally unrealistic expectation.
It sure is nice in those parenting books, though.
Sometimes, I just need to take a breath, sit back, and look at the beautiful, strong, creative little girl that God gave me, and also realize that I’m looking in a mirror whenever she’s fighting the system.
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